Domestic Violence...

Believe It. Help Change It.




  



              

You can help end domestic violence in Kansas.

Be a Safe Friend

“My friend won’t get out of her abusive relationship.  I don't know what to do.” 

Safety is Her Priority.
When someone is being abused, the solution is not as simple as just “leaving” the relationship.  Abusers establish economic, physical, and emotional roadblocks making it seem impossible to leave safely. 

Be a Safe Friend.
Being a safe friend doesn't mean demanding change.  It means making certain that the person you care about has the information, friendship, and support that she needs.  Trust that your friend knows what is best to keep herself and her children safe. Be there for her and be ready to be there for the long haul.

Seek Support for Yourself.
As a safe friend, you may find that you need additional resources and information, or maybe you need some support for yourself. Your local domestic violence program is a resource for you too.

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How to Start a Conversation With a Victim

    1.     Tell her that you are worried.

    2.     Listen without judgment.

    3.    Believe her.

    4.     Tell her that she deserves to be treated better.

    5.     Refer her to the Kansas Crisis Hotline -- 
            (888) END-ABUSE -- and your local 
            domestic violence program.

    6.     Ask her how you can help. Remember that safety is 
            her priority and she knows what is best to keep 
            herself and her children safe.

 
How to be a Safe Friend

Start a Conversation.
Provide an opportunity to talk in a safe place.  Start the conversation by saying, “You seem so unhappy.  Do you want to talk?  I’ll listen and I’ll keep it between us.”

Listen and Believe.
Listen without judgment, believe what she tells you, and acknowledge her feelings.  Confusion, anger, sadness, guilt, numbness, helplessness,  hopelessness, and self-blame are all normal feelings for a victim of abuse.

She's not a Helpless Victim.
Don’t treat her like a child, or a helpless victim. 

Explain her Rights.
Explain that she and her children have a right to peace and security in their own home. Refer her to an advocate, attorney, or other supportive
professional for more information.

Offer Your Support.
Let her know you are there to support her, and you will help her however you can.

Make a Referral.
888-END-ABUSE and the domestic violence program serving your area.

Be Ready to Help. 
You never know when the call might come.

You May Need Support.
The Kansas Crisis Hotline is available for you too. Call 888-END-ABUSE.
 graphic by svilen mushkatov "To Be An Anchor
in the Storm"
by Susan Brewster

"Why Does He
Do That?"
by Lundy Bancroft

24-hour Kansas Crisis Hotline: 888-END-ABUSE or 888-363-2287.  Outside Kansas call 800-799-SAFE (7233).  Content copyright KCSDV.  All rights reserved.